She looks at me and says
I’ve never kissed a boy before
So I tell her, it’s just like kissing a girl
Except that I have facial hair.
Too bad it doesn’t really work that way
While you were sleeping
I taped a battery to your heart
Like a pacemaker for love.
Midnight Soap Opera
It's the middle of the night when I suddenly realize
Your entire body smells like Ivory soap,
Even that place between your shoulder blades.
And instead of wondering how you managed to clean
That one unreachable spot
Without my help
All I can think is:
“Bitch, that’s my soap.
Get your own!”
Was there grass here once
Before the walls went up
And so clearly defined what was ours
And what was theirs?
Was there a time before
When I could talk to my neighbor
Without looking over the fence?
Did Tim Taylor ever really know Wilson?
My Cat is an A-Hole
Your keenest expressions of love
Is kneading my chest at four AM
Licking my face
And declaring that you are hungry.
Four score and twenty years ago
Sometimes I wish I was Abe Lincoln
Not because he was president
Not because he was the emancipator
But because of his sideburns
Damn, those were some wicked sideburns
I’ll bet Abe got all the chicks.