Pirates are Cool.

Captured bits of life... Pirates at no extra cost. Arrrg. Also cool: Zombies, Aliens, Ninjas, Dinosaurs, Vikings, the Noble River Horse, the Sinister Octopi, Robots and Kittens.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Super Mario

I have a long history of doing mario jumps. Basically, you just jump in such a way that, in profile, you look like Super Mario jumping in classic fist-breaking-brick fashion.

For the last few months, an old injury has been bothering me. A knee injury, in point of fact.

Today in the shop, I pulled a mario jump out of nowhere, saying "shpling-ong" as I did so.

The power of super mario is so intense that when I landed, my knee popped, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the pain was gone, full range of motion was returned to the joint and muscles around it lost a bunch of tension I didn't even know was there.

The moral of the story - Never underestimate the power of Super Mario Brothers. You may think it's just a series of video games, but you my friend are more than wrong.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

One AM - pop culture conversation

Look at how intellegent I am when it comes to pop culture:

Shush says:
i found a tshirt that says "Ninjas and pirates agree: cowboys suck"
James - will soon be at camp. email him. says:
ehhh... kind of a foregone conclusion. cowboys and indians were the pirates and ninja's of the cold-war era. Trying to compare two sets of rivals like that is laregely unsucessful. Besides, after brokeback mountain, anything like that seems to be alluding to hate crimes against homosexuals.
Shush says:
James - will soon be at camp. email him. says:
in other words, nobody cares because nobody under fifty actually thinks cowboys are cool anymore. hence the reason why westerns died as a genre. yet, seventies-style kung fu movies are all the rage (kill bill) and pirates are storming blockbuster hits (pirates of the carribean).

PS - I'm smarter than you. Blah blah blah, look at how much shit I can talk.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Come in, we're watching Collateral.

I went all post-modern in some MSN conversations tonight. My oldest genuine real life face-to-face friend (BVT - hangin' out since first grade) added me to his myspace account. I hate myspace. It is run by Satan, I have concluded. I am also a hypocrit. You will note the link to my myspace account on the side-bar. My justification lies in having an easy place to host some of the music I have made, but its sort of a lame excuse.

Anyway, myspace is the perfect model for post-modern internet based interactions. The basic premise is, on the interent, since you never see those you are communicating with, you can create a persona, or a 'face' that is entirely different than your own self (please note: lots of people don't see this as an issue - it bothers me that this is so, because all of a sudden, if you are a sexual preditor, it is an issue. Isn't pretending to be somebody you're not sort of frowned upon no matter what? anyway, that's an aside). So, you can have 'friends' on the internet that are only attracted to you because of your mask (a false face) when, in fact, they are also presenting a mask. Its character interaction, like in a soap opera (side note: Allistor Crane is going to destroy the world if he reads the words on the Challice. Why oh why does Veronica have to watch Passions every day? 'Siren! You promised me underwater gaming!')

Right, off topic again, sorry. At any rate, after World War II, as any student of the post-moren era would recognise, North American soceity suffered from 'the loss of transcendental certitude' (as professor Gary Leonard would put it. Incidently, he's on sabatical next year. sucsk to that). Basically (very basically, there's a lot more to it, but I'm rushing to my humorous conclusion) Society wondered how a benevolent God that they had put so much faith into could have allowed such terrible attrocities as occured in the war(s) to happen. the conclusion was that no benevolent god could, so, a benevolent god does not exist. World War II is the reason whyt "God is Dead" became a catch phrase. Moving on...

People have no sence of God anymore (note waning attendence at Chruches; also note: I'm generalising unfairly), this leave a bit of a power vaccuum in the soul (for lack of a better word) and a lot of people, in the end of it all, are left with a poor sense of self.

How might they bolster this sense of self? Well, by creating a mask and making themselves appealing to other - but through pretending. And the pretending is done by all. See all of T.S. Elliot's poetry for more on this subject. The simple truth that Elliot recognised, however, was that this sort of interaction is incredibly unhealthy, and people just slowly die inside if they continue to create faces instead of allow their true self to exist (perhaps 'finidng jesus,' or at least being able to recognise spirituality properly allows for some of this post-modern damage to be undone - interesting to note that the Catholic church still suffers from attrition while new-age protestant churches are doing better than ever. Old vs. new? Topics to consider some other time, perhaps).

So anyways, all of that sidetracking and thinking out loud toa rrive at my weak punch line. upon being added to my real-life friend's myspace account, I told him the following:

alright. I think I have seventeen friends now. Counting people I am arbitrarily connected to on the interet certifies my existence in this post modern world... It... adds a quantitaive level of certaintiy when I'm considering my self-worth based on internet relations as opposed to the real world.

I know, I know, weak joke. Not even a joke really, just sarcastic satire. I should have just written a post about (underwater) gaming.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

PS - One click editing

For some reason, after all this time, one click editing had finally enabled itself on my blog. Hurrah for less spelling mistakes! Hurrah!

'Dead by Dawn' or ...

I had the distinct pleasure of going on a camping trip with the accomplished gentlemen David Meech, Jeff Meech, Joshua Hutchinson and Motman 9000 this past couple of days. Although we we more than prepared when it came to food and booze areas, we were somewhat lacking in the 'things to do' department.

You remember Evil Dead 2, right? If you're a geek, you might even know it has a subtitle: Dead by Dawn. This is in homage to the zombies who start chanting 'dead by dawn, dead by dawn, dead by dawn!' at Ash partway through the movie.

It was about eight or nine in the morning, and we had been up for hours and already made an awesome (and large) breakfast. We were bored, as the only entertainment we had with us was one frizbee and on fishing pole for five guys. All in all, we came to realise that there was really only one option.

Drunk by noon, drunk by noon, drunk by noon!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Allow me to go all emo in this post.

I keep on having these dreams where my vision degrades to the point where I can see nothing but blurs, even when I put on my glasses. If I try really hard to see something (the point where it almost hurts, kind of like when you're super tired and falling asleep, but fighting to keep your eyes open) things start to focus, buts not enough. Its really frustrating. Furthermore, these dreams have been happening for a while now, but it's only recently I've awknowledged them in real world. I sort of wonder what it means, but then I remember that I have both terrible eyesight and a creeping terror of losing all my eyesight. Weird shit, man.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Your Mom.

It's not just an insult anymore. I'm pretty sure It's become regaulr for me to greet people on the internet with these two words. Lame, perhaps, but what can you do?

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Watch out!

you never know when some sort of crazy event will cause a tree to fall on your house and crush you underneath its leaved branches while you sit at your computer reading blogs.