Pirates are Cool.

Captured bits of life... Pirates at no extra cost. Arrrg. Also cool: Zombies, Aliens, Ninjas, Dinosaurs, Vikings, the Noble River Horse, the Sinister Octopi, Robots and Kittens.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Pocketbook of Love

I went christmas shopping today. I spent lots of money, but I can justify it by saying I got cool stuff for my familiy. [No Meaghan, I'm not going to tell you what I got you on my blog].
I'm really excited for Christmas now ... but its still a whole month away! It's going to be super-fun good times... oh man, buying presents made me excited. I want to wrap them.

So Far So Good

I have one class on tuesdays. I woke up today and hour and seventeen minuts after it started. The class is only an hour long... oops. At least I had a good sleep!
Furthermore, I'm going to buy tickets for Thornley today... man, I love living in the city - Concerts right front and centre!

Monday, November 29, 2004


That's right mofos! I wrote a novel! And I have the squirrel wearing a horned-acorn-cliche-viking style hat to prove it!

Saturday, November 27, 2004

The Tragedy of Space Invaders

Stop and think about this one for a little while.
Space Invaders is just a game, but it has to be one of the largest symbols of hopelessness I've ever come across. In most video games you overcome the great evil and defeat it, everybody's happy in the end and such on and so forth. In short, you save the world. Thats the point, you're supposed to go through trials and much difficulty, and in the end you are left with a feeling of accomplishment - that is what makes video games entertaining. Not so in Space Invaders.
Space Invaders is different. You shoot all of the weird flying jellyfish that feel that the best manoeuver they can make is to march on your little green vehicle at the bottom of the screen in a stepwise, geometric pattern downwards.
You can line the aliens up in your sights and shoot them all, you can even blast that red mothership at the top of the screen and get four question marks worth of bonus points, but you can never really defeat them.
You widdle them down, and you take refuge behind your sheilds, and then, once you think victory is at hand, you shoot the last alien out of the sky and there suddenly appears, as if out of nowhere, a new hoard of invaders. Only this time, they started just a little closer to the surface of Earth. You work feverently to destroy this wave of aliens as well, and if you do, it buys enough time to get an extra vehicle to defend Earth with. But this is just a kind of false hope. Every wave you destroy, there's one new vehicle for you, but there are hoards of aliens, and each time you defeate them they get a little bit closer to the ground.
The premise behind the game is that it's supposed to get more difficult with each subsiquent wave, so each one starts cloaser to the ground, is a bit faster than the last and returns more fire. The way the game is programed, however, dictates that if you should continue to quickly defeat the aliens, another wave will always follow - Literally, there is no end to the invasion.
The fight you put on, pushing the joystick back and forth and desperately mashing the fire button after you miss that last alien in hopes that you will somehow coax another shot out of your guns before your first one reaches the top of the screen, it's all in vain. It's like trying to read Hemmingway with only your teeth. You can't do; in Space Invaders, you cannot save Earth. It's hopeless.
But it doesn't end there! Through the years other games have been developed, including one called Galactic Battle, that are the same premise as Space Invaders. In this game, you go into space to fight pieces of pie, helecopters, and blinking blue rectangles, fighting a vigilant battle to save the earth from being taken over by flying television screens (You could argue this has already happened).
You are given the illusion of winning the battle - halfway through a stage, after six waves of aliens you get to refuel your ship and if you have enough points, you can spend them on an upgrade to your fighter-craft. More powerful guns, better speed, sheilds to protect you from the little white line that the pulsating orb fires at you.
And at the end of the stage, after you destroy the mothership, you again refuel. You can fly through five or so of these stages and never find the same alien to battle twice, but as soon as you get to the sixth, you are once again met with the ominus blue alien space helicopters - Only this time, they've come prepared. If you didn't upgrade your ship's guns yet, these craft take two shots to destroy. And so on for the rest of infinity. Eventually, you lose all of your space fighters and the aliens invariably take over Earth.
There is no excape, no hope. Space Invaders is a tragic symbol of inevitable defeat.
Yes, I know it's just a game.

Wax'd part II

Tonight, there was no beige eyed man that I could see.
Wax President preformed to his utmost abilities in a new mode - not longer is Delux or President or Opposite a certainty. Tonight, Wax Mannequin was in Semi-Pro Mode. It was unlike anything that had ever been experience by the likes of me before. I'm not sure that I can say that he flew around the room - I'm not sure thats what Semi-Pro Wax does.
What I can say is that I knew I had to rock out on the dance floor. And I did. Many more people were with me, and we all knew the words to the songs. If this was because we were already familiar with them or because the sheer intensity forced them into our minds without a mind protector, I cannot say.
What I can say is that it was some of the best damn five bucks I ever spent.
Plus, Wax Mannequin played three songs I'd never heard before - the prospect of a new album is ripe... maybe in a year or so...

Friday, November 26, 2004


The prospect of WAX MANNEQUIN is an exciting one. I just thought I might say that I support his claim of being the President of Indie rock.
"And just when you thought your thing would burst - it's a call for you, the phone, it's Bryan Adams on the phone..."

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Musical History

There was a song I used to listen to many years ago - it had a catchy tune, and I liked it. Damned if I knew what it was called or who it was by, but the meledy stuck with my through the years.
It took me eveyr once in a while, I would hum it and think "damn - what was that song". I played it on my guitar tonight... as if out of nowhere, Paul remembered some of the lyrics. I jumped on google and soon learned it was Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger. A friend downloaded it for me. Maybe it's not quite what I listen to in this day and age, but damn - it's still a catchy tune.

....Paranoia, Paranoia, Paranoia, and everybody's comin' to get me....

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Walk Left, Stand Right

Escalators are quite possibly one of the most entertaining aspects of living in Toronto. I mean, these things are everywhere! You cannot deny the fact that when you were six, escalators were exciting, and a highlight of your day. Well, the number of times I had been on an escalator before I moved to the city could be counted on my hands.
Escalators still bring me a great (yet secret) joy.
I like to ride the escalator, so I pay close attention to the rule of 'walk left, stand right' so people don't get pissed off at me.
I noticed today, when walking down a staircase in my school, that I immediatly drifted to the left side, on impulse. Thats what I get for riding the escalators in subway stations for fun....

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Rock and Roll will never die

Wax Mannequin is playing the Poor Alex theatre this friday. Man this guy rules, I can't wait to see him again. the best part is, I get to review his concert and get marks for it! Thank you, listening to music, for giving me an excuse to go to see the President of Indie Rock.

Save me from myself!

Somebody please take the world away so that I can focus on my work!

Sunday, November 21, 2004

The Ultimate Battle!

If Pirates and Ninjas teamed up against Zombies and Vikings, who would win?

"Jump-Up" and "Poon-Tang"

I was bored yesterday and got to thinking: Its been a long time since I hung out with J-Bo. So, i pick up the phone with the intent of proposing a waynes world marathon. I say "What's happenin' man?" and J-Bang replies "I'm havin' a jump-up"
What the fuck is a jump up?
Don't worry, I was confused too. If you know Jared, then you know sometimes he makes things up and he also mumbles. Turns out it was a party. Not a bad deal. So after the Longest TTC ride in the history of mankind (I'm beginning to hate the University-Spadina line) I arrive at Winters. I realised I didn't know Jared's room number or his phone number - I figured I'd just ask the Porter. Well, surprise surprise when I happen to walk right past his window! Claire's inside, she waves at me, and J-Bo met me at the front door.
From this point, the night just took off. At first, J-bo was afraid of a dud party and left me alone in his room with three girls I don't know to try and find more recruits for the party. It didn't work, but we soon managed to get J-bo's quota of people he can sign in into his room - and more people were on their way!
We had a new mission - first floor room, bars on the window... It was time to liberate ourselves. A quest for a screw driver lent us to find a man on the fourth floor who would aid us in our plight and unsrew the evil bars. The window, once open, provided a gateway to freedom! And a whole bunch more people came, including Boo Radley, Jimmy, and Erin. It was supa-good-times. And so progressively more drunken people had a good time in J-Bo's dormitory, and we onely got one verbal warning to turn down the music.
When the party was winding down, J-Bo was having a discussion with one of the last people around about the success of the evening.
For some reason, it was noted that there were a lot of girls in the room. J-Bo, with more tact than a tac and t stuck together to make a stupid word says while laughing "Yeah, there was a lot of Poon-Tang".

Friday, November 19, 2004

No Stairway? Denied!

I forgot that Mike Myers grew up in Scarborough. I forgot that this town was the inspiration for Wayne's World... Maybe, somewhere nearby, I can find a music story with a "No Stairway to Heaven" sign.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

The law of the land

I went to the mall yesterday.
The express purpose was to pay my bills. And I did pay my bills. There were quite a lot of dollars chaning hands yesterday, let me tell you.
There was a problem though. I found myself inside Musicworld, looking at DVDs. And I found... it.
The dream of many people... the Wayne's World DVD Box set... Wayne's World and Wayne's World 2... together... for twenty-five bucks!
In admitting my guilt, I have to admit I also bought the new A Perfect Circle album. I said I wasn't going to, I know, but i couldn't leave it behind. I mean, have you heard Maynard sing John Lennon's 'Imagine'? It's freaking Incredible, to say the least.
I also spent the two dollars and bought the new U2 single. It's the first time I've ever spent money on U2 for myself and not my sister.

Imagine no posessions... I wonder if you can. No need for greed or hunger...

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Acedemic Slacker

They say I'm an Ontario Scholar, I got the fifty bucks and the certificates to prove it (From my MPP and the Minister of Education).
Only problem is, I've noticed that over the past few weeks there has been a serious shift in the way I do work. Due dates are no longer measured in days like they once were, long ago. Now I wire it down to the hour... and I suspect I wouldn't find any troubles with the minute.
I get my work done, but is the slacking really justified?
Tomorrow - tomorrow I'll get some work done.

Violet Light

Every once in a while, you meet a person who you seem to have some sort of connection with. They are teh kind of person that you could not see for months - years, even - and yet, talk for a while and seemingly be rigt back where you left off. Not every person you meet will be like this. But, maybe its one of the things that makes a good friend.
On my way home, I was surprised to find an old friend standing outside the bus terminal. She was going on the same bus as I was, to my great surprise. It didn't take long before we were discussing the finer points of Heart of Darkness ("The Horror") and it seemed like we were back in the good old days of high school chemistry class... as much as literature relates to diluting acid to increase the school's stock supply... and they said was a lab...
On that wonderful note, my weekend started.
It continued into what was probably one of the best weekends of my life - A new Terry Pratchett novel - finding out I'm an Ontario Scholar - Spedning quality time with family and friends - food - a walk around good old Owen Sound ... it was all great.
I kinsa wish I could do it every weekend, but then, then it wouldn't be as special.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Stuck in my head

...And she screamed Claudio-oh, dear Claudio-oh, God dammit! We'll make if you beleive...

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

I had a feverish dream...

... Or maybe it isn't so much a dream at all.

I'm going home. Whoo!

Monday, November 08, 2004

Holy Crap! Free Records!

The Radio station on campus switched over to CD format. They are giving away all the old record. It was about two minutes after my roomate and I heard this that we found ourselves outside the radio station, flipping through old records. He beat me to The Police, but in the end I found a few real prizes. Nothing I'd ever really hear of before, but one of the bands is called "Sharks" and the albums looks like its going to be really funny. Oh 80's music....

Trask Rides Again!

When I was young, I bought a book at a used book store called Space Vikings.
Although it wasn't very long, nor was it very well written, it inspired me more than I could explain. I can't say why, but somehow, this book was an important step in my desire to become a writer. It was high adventure in space and it included Vikings. What's not to love? (Right up there with Zombies, Pirates, Ninjas and Dinosaurs, Vikings are cool) I loved the book when I read it, and I had to share it with others. Long before making all my friends read Fight Club or Eon and Enternity, this was my first big attempt to make a sort of book club.
Unfortunetly, somehow, Space Viking got lost. For the past six years I have searched for this book, with no success. The internet did not yeild any clues as to where I could get it. Until this morning.
One of my housemates happened to have a library of e-books on his computer. Because he networks five or so computers, he has a database on his server, so he can access his file whenever (whereever) he wants. I have access to his server, and on it I found a copy of Space Vikings.
At my lesuire, I can read the document and allow Trask to plunder planets again and again.

Sunday, November 07, 2004


"Then again," Laurier says as he places cannons staring down my European stronghold "it isn't called 'play it safe'"
I knew then that my hopes and dreams of world domination were squandered.
In then end, one peice held out against ten armies, and, although defeated in the end, I set him on the sailing ship in the middle of the board. Although I had died, I somehow figured it would be apropriate to put the guy on a ship, and honor him as a Pirate.
After Risk, My sister her roommate and I had a kill bill-a-thon.
Good times.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Friday night

Y'know, when I moved to Toronto, I kinda expected friday nights to be a little more exciting than sitting around on my computer. I don't know what I expected, really. But, as it turns out, I do pretty much what I've always done. If there is nothing better to do, I stay at home and write, or watch a movie, or something (like tonight). I've been to the movies with friends... just like home, except the mall the theater was in was bigger. I went downtown to see an indie rock concert... That's not anything new, really. To the bar for a drink? Done that as well.
I think just about the only thing I CAN do here that I can't do at home is subway surfing.
Not that I'm complaining... all these things are great fun, and I do have to admit, I've got a few more options in the biggest city in Canada than I did back in Owen Sound...

Friday, November 05, 2004

Crivens! I's a wee bit chilly out yonder!

They told me it would happen... as soon as october ended and november began, the temperature would go from pleasant to frikken' cold.
They were right... Will Scarborough ever be warm again?

Thursday, November 04, 2004

What the hell is that?

Boo Radley came over from York to watch Dawn of the Dead yesterday. You have to leave a $20 deposit with the convience store when you rent a movie. I had to extract some money from the cash machine to do this, and figuring that I might need another twenty for food or something within the next few days, I got fourty bucks out. The second Twenty was one of the old ones. I mean the Old old ones, like from 1979. It's not every day you see one of those. A lot of people I showed it to didn't even recognise it at first.

Dawn of the Dead was a pretty damn good movie. I like how the "New" Zombie is being used in films since 28 Days Later... The fast zombies who can run. No more lurching around the room. I'm glad that the good old fashioned "urrghhh... UURRRGHHH!!!!" still hasn't died, though.

On no! The zombies are after us! maybe if we walk briskly we'll be able to escape them!
They're lurching at just under walking pace!! How will we ever escape them!?!

Man, Zombies are so cool.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Mining for Gold

I just realised I pick my nose when I'm on the computer. A lot.
Maybe I should do something about that.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004


As I ponder the not quite so infinite possabilities of what will become my dinner, i can't help but notice that the pickle jar is filled with only caulliflower and that the crocodile has managed to make his way onto the monitor, meaning that there can only be one supreme truth in the universe, and that is that crackers and cheese can only constitute a meal if you're working in a university environment.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Chess Master!

Ever since I brought my chess board to Scarborough, there has been a rash of chess playing in my house. Undisputed at the top of the game was Alex. This guy seemed unbeatable. He was ready the chess master. Like Aaron Both, only more intimidating.
And then, tonight, he conceeded the game to me. That is, I won. Bwahahahaha! New Chess Master!
Let's face it, it was luck.